The other day I recieved this photo of my oldest daughter Akalaya. I was truely amazed to see how much she's grown from that bubbly four year old I use to know, to this beautiful little women I know today.Akalaya is a straight A student, is sassy, sweet, and caring. She wants to be a vet and wears her heart on her sleeve. Anyone who knows Akalaya would agree, when Akalaya walks in a room she shines. Since the day she was born Akalaya has always been my only sunshine. She makes the world brighter for anyones life she touches.Unfortunately I'm unable to be with her but carry her in my heart everyday she will never truely know how much she means to me and how thankful I am she's my daughter.
But thankfully Josh and I are able to influence parts of her everyday life even from a distance away. Grandma was telling me the other day that Akalaya would often ask who I was as a little girl and seemed to wanted to be like me. As a Mom I feel honored that my girl wants to be like her Mommy. It's every Mommies dreams. I just hope she leaves out the bad parts. It also amazes me how forgiving she is. I've not seen her in four years and did some stupid things when I was younger that will effect her for the rest of her life, but she doesn't love me any less for it. I'm not there with her and she often will say " Your the greatest Mommy in the world". Comments like this really make me feel good, it may sound funny and though she's only a kid. This one small comment left a smile on my face for the rest of the day.It seems like when I talk to her if I make a suggestion, "Like she needs to sleep in her room", she seems to follow it. I'm glad in a little way I'm able to help raise her, and Grandma is doing a great job with her too.
I don't know why God gave me this precious little gift, especially since I didn't treasure it to start with. But I'm glad he did. Akalaya is the one who gave me the title of Mom. She is my oldest and there is a special place in my heart that will always be hers. Akalaya in a sense saved me from myself. I thought I knew what I wanted to be or what I wanted to do with my life and though she came at a bad time she truly showed me what I wanted to be, a Mom. I didn't realize it to start out with, because I was too immature but I realize it today.
I fell in love with her the moment I heard her heartbeat and that love only grew stronger as time went along. The day she was born I can still remember that it felt like there was no one else in the room but me and her. I remember just being amazed by this little bundle of joy lying across the room from me in a little plastic bed. I was terrified and didn't know how I could be a Mom. I was so young and just a kid myself, how was I going to raise one, but look at her today.
My daughter.
The one who made me a Mom.
Thank you Akalaya.
